The Hole That You Never Knew Exists

You have been using a basic phone for the longest time. The phone that can only do texting and calling. No internet. No games that would make you addicted. You were happy just being able to text and call your friends and family. It’s not that you don’t want the latest phone, it’s just that you were happy with your current phone. You were contented and you were patient in waiting for the day for you to be able to buy your own. You had other priorities rather than getting your dream phone. But one day, you won an iPhone in a raffle. You didn’t expect it, after all, no one can predict if you will win in a raffle.

After a few days of using your iPhone, you realized you have been missing out a lot. “So this is what it feels like having an iPhone,” you said. You loved your iPhone. It gained sentimental value for you, aside from you got in a raffle, it had memories in it. You had your best photos, and the important text messages in it. And one day, you lost it. All the un-backed up photos, gone. All the important text messages you wanted to keep, gone. Your remembrance in winning a raffle, gone. You can always buy a new iPhone, but it will never be the same. You will never have the same iPhone you had. You will never have the iPhone that you got in a raffle again. You will never be able to see those photos and messages in it, ever. That’s just how you made me feel when you left me hanging.

I was happy spending time with my friends and family. I was enjoying my life as a student. I had all the time in the world to do my hobbies and passion. I can watch all I want without worrying about chatting you. I can read all the books I want without worrying if I have been spending enough time with you. I can wake up anytime I want without worrying about being able to iron your clothes before you go to work. I have my weekends to myself, I don’t have to block my weekend schedules because that’s our only time together. But I did all of this, because you made me happy. You made me realize that I have been missing something in my life. You made me feel treasured and special. You made me realize that even if I’m a strong and independent woman, I longed to feel the company of the opposite sex. That I wanted to feel what it feels to be the one that needs care and love. I finally felt what it feels to be taken cared of after so many years of solitude.

I was truly happy even before “you happened.” I never knew my life has been lacking something until you came and made me realize that there has been a hole I never knew exists. Now that you are gone and I know the existence of this hole in me, can you please tell me, how do I cover this hole again?